In the stars

What better to do on a rainy, dismal day than stretch out on my bed and watch Zodiac again?

Okay, there are many other things I should be doing, but none are anywhere near as enjoyable. Jake's eyelashes should have received separate billing in this film. And so far, I think only Ang Lee equals David Fincher for masterful use of those big blue eyes in telling a story. Thank you, Mr. Fincher, for at least half a dozen underlit shots of Jake in profile talking on a phone. Yummy.

For anyone out there who does not have a selection of Jake's movies on DVD to wile away the time, here's another option. Top Synergy is a website that offers what they call "relationship analysis" based on astrology, and users can obtain free analysis reports matching themselves with one of a fair selection of celebrities, including Jake Gyllenhaal. Several months back, I was led there by a friend to see what my match with Jake would look like.

Before I show you the result, I must issue this disclaimer: I don't really believe in astrology. Those who do, please don't be offended by my dismissal of this information as purely entertainment, not a guide for life choices.

Here is what Top Synergy had to tell me about my potential with Jake.

Click the graphic to go to my stored results page at Top Synergy

If you read the explanation provided by Top Synergy, you'll notice that relationship types highlighted in purple are supposed to indicate a probable good match. And if you look at my Personal Relationships chart, you'll notice the whole damn thing is purple. This tickles me no end.

Should anyone wish to recreate my results, because you disbelieve me or just want to know what my match with someone else would look like, here are my details:

gender: female
birth date: Jan 14 1972
birth time: 03:48
country: United States
state: Florida
city: Lauderhill

Naturally, to inject a smidge of science into the game, I have compared myself to two of my previous celebrity crushes (neither of which was quite like what I feel about Jake). My match with Ewan McGregor is somewhat disappointing, I must say.



With David Duchovny, I fared much better.



It has not escaped me that in the Passion subset, every one of these matches indicates the man would have a "dominant" or greater passion for me, and that all but Duchovny have a greater passion for me than I do them. This has something to do with my chart, which apparently indicates I am some type of sex magnet. If you knew how funny that idea is to me, you'd understand exactly why I say that I do not believe in astrology. I do consider myself highly sexed, but so far it has not brought me great success in attracting partners. The thing is full of contradictions, but then again, so am I. However, on the whole, I'd say it's more inaccurate than accurate. I'll leave it to those interested to figure out why.

If you match yourself up with Jake, you can share your results in the comments.

Oh, and an apology to the two readers who had voted in the new poll before I recreated it. I somehow had managed to leave Jimmy Livingston off the list. Blasphemy! Bubble Boy is definitely among my top four of Jake's movies. Please vote again. I already put in my vote for Harold "how embarrassing is it if I say last night was wonderful?" Dobbs.

Zodiac captures: IHJ.