Ode, Dear

Loot at you, mister Too Good to be True!
With each passing day grows the illusion that I know you.
What you are to me, the eye cannot see,
though you shall never hear me complain of the view.

Thus is my feeling for you misunderstood.

My movie star, to me you are
before all else, a man, and human, and imperfect and good.
You are no hero, nor would I wish you so.
Never would I demand more of you than I do of myself.

Worship and reverence are not part of who I am.

Your paradox is this, that you are
unreachable, and different, and too lovely
and pedestrian, and sensible, and silly.

And so what is wrong with writing odes to a man
who is not greater than the rest, but in the ways that matter to me?
Should I not adore you because you are human?

For I can think of no better reason to love a man.


Photo: IHJ.

Any minute now

One unfortunate side effect of Jake's summer vacation has been the uninterrupted propagation of the same old assorted rumors and gossip about his personal life by people who pretend their word is fact. I suppose in a way I do sympathize with them--they are just as susceptible as I am to Jake withdrawal. Perhaps they are hoping that such an unrelenting assault on that wall of official silence will finally prompt someone inside to make a statement. It wouldn't surprise me if they believed that, considering the delusional nature of some of their professed "news."

I don't need a crystal ball to confidently predict that in the next handful of days, we will suddenly have sightings and possibly photos of Jake at home in Los Angeles. With Rendition's TIFF Gala screening scheduled for September 7, Jake will be in Toronto a mere nine or ten days from now. We know how he loves to gad about the country; a rapid succession of airport appearances is all but guaranteed as he returns home, runs errands, and packs off again for the Great White North. (I just realized in writing this that Jake attended the 2005 TIFF three glorious, envy-inducing nights in a row. Where the hell was I in 2005?) I will breathe a seemingly unwarranted and preposterously overwrought sigh of relief when everyone resumes discussion of Jake's manner of dress, selection of purchases, and hairstyle of the moment...the things that matter, in other words.

I also find it gratifying that while the news outlets seem to be calling Rendition Reese Witherspoon's new movie, once again, as in the trailer, Jake has been granted top billing in the TIFF's online listing for the film. Alphabetical preference? Not exactly, as Alan Arkin came in third. Probably doesn't mean anything to anyone else, but I like it.

Thanks again to Xenia for a couple of things: first, I have implemented those shirts inspired by your comment in a new CafePress shopfront. There's nothing earth-shattering there, and certainly nothing that could be considered "art," so no markup has been applied to any item. Someone profits, but it ain't me. Second, I have really been enjoying my rediscovered Radiohead CDs! And I haven't done a lot of searching yet, but so far what I've heard of the White Stripes has me convinced that yes, I have heard them before, and of course liked what I heard. I guess I will have to start listening to the radio again, perhaps streaming while I write at night. So many things that I have missed in my self-imposed isolation!

Also, thanks to Prophecy Girl of Jake Watch for giving Zen Gyllenhaalism a mention on the blog. And thanks to everyone else who has visited, and especially commented, so far. I'd write anyway, but it wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun without you.

All photos: IHJ.

Unsung

NBC will be airing Saturday Night Live's Best of 2006/7 episode again tonight. One can never get too much dreamgirl!Jake.

Everyone has raved about this demonstration of Jake's singing abilities, not to mention those arms. Well, call me picky (because I am), but I won't be impressed until I hear him sing in his natural, gut-felt voice rather than a falsetto or a drunken cowboy bellow. He insists he can sing, and so far the closest we've gotten to what Jake really sounds like is the adorable bit from Bubble Boy when Jimmy sings the Land of the Lost theme song.

Unfortunately his voice is mostly drowned out by Dweezil Zappa's guitar track. Not that I have any problem with Dweezil or his guitar; I've always been rather fond of him in a casual way. But I'm dying to hear Jake's true singing voice, and this was almost the jackpot.

One night last week at the gym, my iPod cycled around to Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe," and while Adam Levine does not appeal to me, something in his voice drips with sex. It always has, but that night it led me on an interesting mental journey spurred by the thought that perhaps Jake, having grown up in the same time and place as Levine, might have a similar style of performing. I'm not talking about stage performance because I've never seen one by Maroon 5, nor do I watch MTV these days. All I was imagining was a singing voice. And it wasn't Levine's voice; it was Jake's. And it was a potent fantasy.

Obviously my continued appreciation of Jake does not depend on hearing him sing. There was a time when I thought his speaking voice was too high--it didn't go with that body, that face. Since then I have grown to love it, his sweet, gentle, boyish voice. It soothes me, so much that many nights I play Jarhead on my DVR so that I may fall asleep to his voiceover. I'd love to hear him really sing, but even if I never do, his voice is music to me.

Photo: IHJ.

Jake and Reese in New Jersey?

We have promotion!

This morning the Courier-News Online is reporting that Rendition will be screened as part of the Filmmakers Symposium this year, somewhere between September 17 and December 4. Since these are described as previews, let's assume it will happen before October 19.

Why is this exciting? Because the Filmmakers Symposium presents not just the films, but some of the key talent behind each picture, in a question and answer session following the screening. And look for yourself if you don't believe me, but Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon, and Gavin Hood are expected to attend. The symposium's director Chuck Rose cautions: "Assessing film and guest availability is often like playing the ponies. Distributors juggle their release dates to gain competitive advantages. Sure shots can be scratched at the last minute, and wonderful surprises and fantastic celebrities can pop up out of nowhere, so I try to keep the schedule as fluid as possible."

I wonder if the audience will be vetted to prevent stupid questions from coming to the mic? You know the kind I'm talking about, what with both of them in the same room. Then again, maybe it will be a nice, awkward opportunity for some scathing Gyllenhaal humor.

If only New Jersey weren't so far away from my house. I was already planning a trip around the Rendition opening weekend. I'd adjust those plans if someone at the FS could promise me a date for the screening, but I can't afford to book it (no refunds) and then find out later that Rendition has been bumped to another night. Damn, it sucks to be poor.

As recommended by BirdGirl on the JW Forums, I've been DVRing IFC's reruns of "Indie Sex" this week, and it's a wonderful little series, including commentary from Peter Sarsgaard among others. One episode dealt with the effect on the popularity and earnings of movies released under the dreaded NC-17 rating in the US. Today Guardian Unlimited revealed that another Toronto International Film Festival presentation, Ang Lee's Lust, Caution, has just won this "death knell" rating from the MPAA.

This isn't the horrible news we might first perceive it to be. Focus Features has announced that they plan to buck the trend of recutting for a more acceptable R, and release the film as Lee intended it to be seen. I love you, Focus Features. Lee's reputation for creating beautiful, delicate but powerful masterpieces may be just what the industry needs to turn around the negative connotation of NC-17.

If nothing else, it's inspired me to fantasize about what the NC-17 version of Brokeback Mountain might have been like. Not that my imagination hasn't been there many times before....

Photos: IHJ.

Idol speculation

It's always wonderful to be reminded that Jake is on the minds of entertainment types other than the gossip mongers and paparazzi scum. This morning I found a blip by Liz Smith of the Baltimore Sun in which she speaks of a rumored movie-version of the musical-version of Sunset Boulevard:

I spoke with a top movie producer the other day, and he dismissed the latest round of interest in the movie. "Oh, please. Forget the musical....

"I say update the Billy Wilder original. Make Norma a washed-up star from the disco era. Cast Halle Berry and Jake Gyllenhaal."

Thanks, unknown top movie producer. Your random selection of Jake for the role once played by the iconic William Holden brightened my morning. Many of us Gyllenhaalics like to toss around ideas for future parts, especially remakes as they provide known characters from which to select. While I must sadly confess it has been many years since I saw the film, Joe Gillis does seem like an absolutely perfect fit for our man. But unlike the greedy and visionless studio types, I don't believe every movie needs to be remade. Modern remakes have gotten completely out of hand, to the point that Hollywood is revisiting films made in the mid-80s. Fortunately, Jake has so far demonstrated superior judgment in most of his choices, and I'm never really worried that he'll participate in something of such poor quality as to damage his impressive reputation.

Then there was the suggestion by the writers at IGN that the newly released BioShock game might make a great movie starring Jake. Okay, they mentioned several potential leads, including Jake's Brokeback Mountain costar Heath Ledger. But the fact that Jake popped up on their list along with Mr. Forbes' Ultimate Star Payback himself, Matt Damon is definitely not a bad sign. Their comment: "Is Gyllenhaal ready to carry a big budget flick like BioShock? We think so." I guess this impressed me most because IGN is, well, a network for gamers, and my impression is that, like their audience, its contributors are largely male. This is a vote of hetero confidence that confirms my belief in Jake's universal appeal. No, I would not be particularly thrilled at the prospect of Jake's appearance in a video game movie, but again, I trust his judgment; he'd do it only if it was worth his time.

While neither of these remarks holds any real implications for Jake, and we remain in a lazy summer limbo wondering what his next project will be, at least I am reassured that he has not been forgotten by all but the tabloids (and of course, we, the Gyllenhaalics).

Photos: IHJ.