Jonny-on-the-spot

Absurd. I've just become giddy with the sight of what appear to be hand wipes in the side pocket of Jake's backpack. More shots of Jake strolling through Heathrow are available at the IHJ Community.

Over and over, I marvel at the strangeness of my obsession. And not just my obsession, but that of the others in my condition, as well. For example, why is it so endearing that Jake Gyllenhaal wears the same casual clothes repeatedly? I do it. You probably do it. Everyone I know does it. But for some reason we assume that a movie star has so much money to burn, and such pressure to be an icon of style or freshness, it's utterly novel that Jake should wear the same goofy shirt with the craterous neckhole that he was snapped in a few weeks ago while valet parking for coffee.

Ah, fandom. I embrace my insanity.

And thanks, Jake, for wearing those boots, too. I love those boots. I want to see those boots propped up on my coffee table. I want them tossed haphazardly under my bed.

I must have finally reached and breached my overload point, because I'm totally back to zen right now, anticipating a live blogging event tonight by JW's britpopbaby. Friday Night with Jonathan Ross begins at 10:35 GMT, which equates to 5:35 EDT, my time. I shall still be in traffic when that happens, more likely than not, but I won't miss more than a few minutes unless there's an accident on the road, and no one would have the effrontery to keep me away from something like this: the vicarious experience of a talk show in another country on another continent by frequent browser refresh. I cannot wait.

Life is weird. Weird is good. I like it.

All photos: IHJ.

Afterglow

So much Jake, so little time. My week has been pretty bad, and while I'm tempted to be bitter that reality chose to interfere with the TIFF/U.S. Open Jakefest, instead I am reminding myself how grateful I am that every time I was significantly bummed out, new pics of Jake were just a click away. I don't even care how silly that sounds. The mere act of viewing his image, in photos taken of him doing the moviestar thing and clearly enjoying himself, brought peace and contentment to me instantly. This is the epitome of Zen Gyllenhaalism. If I could, I would thank Jake for being what he is to me.

Among the wonders that got me this far, the publication of Jake's answers to my questions in Toronto's National Post. The fact that her paper printed what was originally a blog post makes me think Vanessa Farquharson received email from quite a few Gyllenhaalics following her (I suspect facetious, originally) invitation to post questions for Jake in the comments on her blog; she was able to convince someone that this, too, was entertainment news. My favorite appearance of the article is the one they posted in the Ampersand, because it not only includes a lovely photo of Jake, but has been titled "Calling All Gyllenhaalics: Jake Gyllenhaal reveals hatred of cilantro!" Of course, Jake didn't use the word hate, but hey, they found my weird question good enough to attract readers. That rocks.

Okay, enough rambling about that.

If you haven't already, please check out the latest salvo in the Jake in '08 campaign over at Jake Watch. Just make sure you don't have any food or liquid in your mouth before you click.

Also, for those who, like me, were right pissed off when clicking to view the red carpet interview video WDW linked in this post resulted in a lame message that the clip wasn't viewable on Macintosh computers, I dug into the source code and ferreted out the object url. When you click this link, it should open either in your browser or whatever helper application is assigned to handle Windows Media files. I can confirm that it played for me in both Quicktime Player and VLC. Unfortunately, some lazy ass did not bother to edit the clip properly before turning it into a stream--you will first be presented with a couple of minutes of blank screen, followed by a report on healthy snacking, followed at last by Jakey goodness. I was able to skip ahead using the little scrub arrow; your mileage may vary.

CTV red carpet interview with Jake Gyllenhaal

Yes, it's worth all that trouble just to see Jake being the darling man he is. Sorry, my multiple attempts to capture the stream to a video file so I could edit out the garbage all failed. Hopefully this will show up on YouTube or Google Video soon.

All photos: IHJ.

Why? An introduction

No, I am not especially convinced that the internet needs yet another blog related to Jake Gyllenhaal. However, recent events have led me to believe that my experience is not represented by any of those already in existence, and since I enjoy few things more than writing, talking, and thinking about Jake, I'm here to represent myself.

Zen means meditation. Zen Buddhism is an ancient Eastern philosophy which teaches that peace and ultimately an enlightened state called Nirvana can be reached only by letting go of intense personal attachments and emotions, by means of meditation. A path of eight steps is defined, through which Enlightenment is achieved.

This blog isn't about Zen Buddhism. Don't ask me about Buddhism. I am not a Buddhist. My total knowlege of Buddhism stems from a 3-credit-hour World Religion class at community college 14 years ago, plus whatever apocryphal nonsense I have absorbed via pop culture references. If you want to learn more about it, I recommend you start here, or here, or even here.

My concept of Zen Gyllenhaalism is as simple or as complex as the follower desires it to be.

Basic: Meditate upon Jake. Experience happiness.

Slightly deeper: The act of focusing upon Jake requires one to block out negativity and thoughts of the day's trials; it also brings a natural euphoria through sheer sensory pleasure and imaginative contemplation.

You can't be serious?: Attachment leads to suffering. That includes attachment to our desires and fantasies. Become conscious of the truth that the Jake you adore is not the man you see in movies and photos; he is a construct in your head, built of anecdotes about a celebrity, enhanced by every additional input (interviews, film performances, randomly recorded behaviors) to become ever more detailed and lifelike, but having no actual connection to the individual bearing that name and likeness. Appreciate the pleasurable qualities exhibited by Jake for their own sake, and allow this knowledge to inspire you in art or in action.

If any of that sounds good to you, or if you just think I'm crazy enough to be entertaining for a while, stick around.