11/17/07

The $20,000 man

Rome Film Fest JakeCongratulations of a sort are in order for royandronnie, who last night committed to shell out twenty thousand dollars for the privilege of spending an afternoon with Jake Gyllenhaal. Things started heating up just before 3 pm yesterday, with the competing bids of rammzoo, who apparently couldn't quite swing ten grand. That's when jiblumen stepped in and gave royandronnie a real run for her money, literally. Bidding trickled over into the final ten minutes of the auction, pushing the close time back by ten minutes per bid, though when I refreshed the page it looked more like a total of fifteen to me.

There's some confusion in the fandom over the ultimate outcome of last year's auction, no one able to remember hearing any account of the actual "date" with Jake. I'll be keeping an eye out for different results this time around. Check out the bid history for yourself. Marvel at the deep pockets of fanfic writers. Contemplate a change of career. Prepare for the coming apocalypse.

That is, for me, a serious amount of money. As Jake's price climbed, I began to imagine what I could do if I had that much disposable cash to my name. Here's a brief list of

Things I could do with $20,000



Believe me, I'm not saying that even one hour with Jake wouldn't be worth twenty grand. I'd give the ACLU a million dollars just to spend ten minutes with him, if I could afford it. And that's what it all comes down to: relative value. One's definition of afford, as well. The inherent evil of an auction like this is that it's so easy for someone who can't really afford it to justify going into debt to fund what will certainly be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Especially someone susceptible to fandom to begin with, and in particular the appreciation of a man whose appeal has surprisingly little to do with his outer beauty. We're even more presupposed to emotionally-driven choices, by our nature. While it's not up to the ACLU to stop someone from behaving irrationally or irresponsibly, it's ethically questionable at best to bait us with the promise of something we could never otherwise have.

By extension, I guess that means Jake should take some of the responsibility for what might happen. I don't have access to his bank balances, but I'm thinking $20,000 is not such a big deal to him. True, by offering his time instead of just handing that much over to the ACLU himself, he has given one or two fans the chance to fulfill a dream. He's probably not even aware of how insane he makes people; he's not an idiot but he doesn't really know how bad it is. Or maybe, maybe he figures that anyone foolish enough to go beyond their means for something like this deserves everything that comes with that choice, good and bad. We'll probably never know.

Photos: IHJ, and I don't know where.

8 comments

BirdGirl said...

Sure you could pay off your car but how much fun would that be. He he. Now an afternoon of gazing into those baby blue. Guh! He wouldn't even have to talk to me. If I could just look at him I it would be worth 20 grand.

As far as the Esquire photo, Jesus fucking Christ. He must not have any idea of what he does to us. How could he. It would probably be too overwhelming for him.

Cherita said...

I can't imagine what an afternoon like that would do to me, seriously. I'd either end up devastated, sobbing and being peeled away from him by that bodyguard, or devastated because he didn't make me feel everything I do from the other side of a screen. I actually started imagining that Jake, being the genial and warm guy that he is, undoubtedly would offer a parting hug to whoever the winner was, and if Jake hugged me, I don't know if I could ever let go.

As for him knowing the true depth of his effect on us, I've come to the conclusion that I don't ever want him to. That's a heavy thing to deal with, knowing that so many strangers are intensely impacted by things that should only matter to you. I wouldn't want it to ever influence him or make him feel responsible for it in any way. Our attachments to him are our problem, and while I can't know how it would affect him, if at all, even the chance that it would change him makes me feel ill. He's already demonstrated that he's not as oblivious as he sometimes pretended to be about all the shit that goes on. There's nothing I can think of that would come from his knowing this feeling that would be worth what it might cost him.

Xenia said...

I could never afford to spend 20,000 dollars for a bid, or anything else for that matter...
My trip to Rome was my bid and I'm still dealing with the consequences...

But my expierence as a Gyllenhalic 'in a mission' has been quite enlightning about the weirdness of 'fandom'...because there's nothing like having so many people who are supposed to be as insane as you all around you to make you know better about your own insanity...

And yes, I agree, I don't want him to know how he affected us because THIS could affect him, and because, as you said, our obsession has not so much to do with him really...well...maybe, a little bit...;)

Cherita said...

there's nothing like having so many people who are supposed to be as insane as you all around you to make you know better about your own insanity

You're so right, my dear! And even though I've not yet been in a real-life situation surrounded by Gyllenhaalics, I can definitely see a similar awareness has grown in me the longer I spend in the online fandom. What's most unfortunate is that so many of the people I come across in my online excursions do not seem the least bit aware of it. All they see are the fantasies and agendas they have projected themselves, and how they can make reality fit their perceptions. Fascinating but scary behavior, and the probable subject of a new post. :)

BirdGirl said...

Bring it on Ms. C. I can't wait.

Xenia said...

Me too BG...
This would be really an interesting, if not the most interesting perpective I could imagine of our so-called 'obsession'. Or, better, it'd be a fascinating perspective of any 'obsession' whatsoever...

Cherita said...

Ms. C

Gah! BG, you just made me flash back to Happy Days. You might be too young to know that show, and it was actually "Mrs. C," so I'm not blaming you for the workings of my twisted mind. :P

I want to get going on this topic, but was sidetracked by actual work most of yesterday, and when I got home I was sidetracked again by a recorded Dexter and some indulgent Jake time. I am so, so weak. But the subject is definitely ripe for examination, so don't give up on me yet.

I don't know how regular my posts will be starting now and through the holidays, as I'm sure you all understand. You'll probably be as busy as I will, so you might not even miss me if I'm sporadic, but just in case, let me promise you it's not a sign of any problem other than that granddaddy of them all, Real Life. I'd chuck it entirely if I could, you know? :D

Xenia said...

Of course I'll miss you!
But I'll be here to catch you anytime I'll spot you! ;)