Warm fuzzies

Happy birthday to Jake's big sister, Maggie Gyllenhaal! Maggie turns 30 today.


This makes me happy. Esquire calls Jake Gyllenhaal's performance in Rendition one of six Performances of the Year in their December issue.


Looks like Jeff Wells at Hollywood Elsewhere would have gone with option number three in my poll at right.

It's not that Gyllenhaal plays his Egypt-based CIA guy badly or ineffectively, but that Egypt-based CIA guy is written as such a revoltingly passive wuss....For me, Gyllenhaal's inactivity is infuriating. He's not just a guy doing nothing, but an emblem of do-nothing types the world over.

He sounds like he's blaming Jake for Douglas's actions, or inaction, as the case may be, which misses the point entirely. If you found him infuriating or revolting, Jeff, then he kicked ass, because you were supposed to feel all those things. And Wells's statement about what Douglas's character lacks expresses precisely why Jake's was an incredibly difficult role, and why his performance was that much more worthy of praise. I'm glad the editors of Esquire recognized that, even if Wells doesn't.

Something else that makes me happy: seeing Jake happy. IHJ has posted those photos from Jake and Reese's recent Napa Valley visit, and while the level of paparazzi interest in this relationship still bothers me, seeing Jake so obviously at ease and happy literally brought me to tears. Even Reese smiled at the camera this time. That's the way I like to see them.

Meanwhile, it looks like Jake's about to become the subject of a sniping showdown. Slash writer (it's amazing the things you can learn while browsing around Jake's fandom) royandronnie's opening bid remains the only one so far, and the auction ends at 6 pm EST. At least, I'm sorta hoping it will be sniped. Well, I mean, I totally will understand if no one can afford to bid $5,500, because I can't, but I guess I'd like to see the promise of his company bring in more than the bare minimum for the charity of his choice. Plus it would be fun to watch and see just how crazy Jake can make people.

Update: Well, here's another nice treat I hadn't seen before. This transcript, which the source claims to be from the Los Angeles Rendition press conference, has lots of priceless Jakeisms. I don't understand why I'm just now finding this. This stuff is gold and should have been all over the 'net by now. Some examples:

Reporter: You and Peter shaved your heads in Jarhead. Now, you both have beards.
Jake: Peter and I are dating (laughter). I can see the headlines now.
~~~
Reporter: What qualities do you admire in Reese, as a person and an actress?
Jake: She can grow a mean beard, that's for sure (laughter)! I don’t know if you’ve seen her beard--it's amazing!
~~~
Reporter: Will you comment on rumors that you are dating Reese?
Jake: No. Apparently, I am dating a lot of people, not only of the opposite sex (laughter)--it's very interesting and amusing.
Reporter: The first time we interviewed you, you talked about not having enough sex...
Jake: Are you offering or what? (Laughter)
Reporter: You talked freely during that interview. You have become a star since. So, has your sex life changed?
Jake: I've become an ascetic--I live in a cave now. That's why I am growing a beard. I have no sex, so I’m much more interesting!

Damn, Jake. Could you be any more lovable?

Photo of Maggie thumbnailed from The Internet Movie Database; all others from IHJ.

It's love

What you want and what is the truth are always two different things. -- Jake Gyllenhaal

Sweetheart, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Well, maybe I could have, but I wouldn't have looked nearly as good saying it.

Evidence that Rendition is still playing in at least one major metropolitan area: for whatever reason, this interview with Jake (the source of the quote above), which I'm guessing was taped in Toronto during the film festival, just appeared today on the Chicago CBS affiliate's website. Of course, they may have aired it earlier for all I know, since I do not live in Chicago.

Anyway, as you can see, I'm here, having not killed myself as promised. It's hard to estimate just how strangers reading my words have interpreted my depression; some would say I should not worry about what others think of me, but I'm suddenly feeling the need to express a very important fact about what's been happening to me. I want everyone to know, and understand, the truth: I was not made suicidal by the sudden revelation that Jake Gyllenhaal was romantically involved with someone.

I've been depressed for most of my life, clinically. On medication, which you may have noticed me joking about more than once. When the chemicals in your brain are imbalanced like mine, almost anything can trigger a deep trough, a black period in which life literally loses all meaning. In this case, the last in a series of mental health tripwires was my self-assessment in the wake of my reaction to the relationship "news." Unfortunately, knowing why you are depressed does not, contrary to what might seem logical, make the depression go away. My medication has been adjusted, and while the improvement so far can more likely be attributed to yet another mood swing than the meds, I feel better knowing I will feel better.

Positive signs:

1. I have not cried all day today. No, wait, that's not exactly true. I did weep a little after watching Mask on cable. Oh, and again at the end of Stranger Than Fiction. I was drawn into it by Emma Thompson and Maggie Gyllenhaal (whose performance left me talking back to Jake's image on my computer monitor--Your sister fucking rocks, baby!). Is it just me, or is Will Ferrell the most utterly charmless film star ever? On the Charm Continuum, if Jake Gyllenhaal is at one extreme (given), Ferrell is definitely at the other, infinitely dissipating extreme. But I digress.
2. I'm starting to look forward to moving to California again.
3. Best of all, I found myself smiling uncontrollably while downloading all those images of Jake that I've been meaning to grab...including those featuring him with Reese Witherspoon.

To my great relief, in fact, I have been grinning, laughing and squeeing over Jake all day long. The concept that he might actually be as wonderful as he seems is no longer irrationally unsettling to me. I still love him, more than ever, and I'm grateful all over again for the pleasure he brings to my life. Wanting to be with him won't make it come true, but it fills the gaps with a perfect sweetness.

Photos: jakegyllenhaalfan.com, IHJ.

Screaming girls

Here's yet another great interview with Jake from London, this time in the Daily Mail. Today's lighthearted gem of a quote comes in response to the question of who Jake would like to be stuck in an elevator with. He sidesteps this neatly, as we have come to expect, by instead talking about the crazy interview he did with Susan Sarandon for Moonlight Mile, a portion of which took place in the ladies' room of a Manhattan restaurant.

I discovered two things that day: that the floor in a woman's bathroom is colder than the floor in the men's. And, believe me, I've spent a lot of time on the floor of a men's bathroom so I should know!

What, was he standing there barefoot? Positively priceless, darling. Now we'll have lots of blog posts in the next week about Jake Gyllenhaal's intimate knowledge of men's room floors. At least he didn't say they were airport men's rooms.

I'm not going to discuss the other thing he discovered, unless someone really wants me to. Because I could, you know. I'm just trying to be polite to my innocent readers.

Apparently he either has managed to avoid exposure to the redundant and conflicting agendas of the worst offenders, or recognizes that they do not represent all of us, because he has kind words for his fans in general. And in case anyone still doubted it, Jake confirms that he loves that red carpet attention, so I hope our Xenia and Kate screamed their lungs out for him in Rome. I'd love to scream for him, too, but I'd prefer to do it in a more private setting.

All photos: IHJ.

Be nice to me

Yes, I'm going to talk about what I thought of Rendition.

First, go read this interview with Jake from the Telegraph, done while he was in London. On the one hand, it has terrific elements than any good interview should: description of Jake's posture, clothing (guess which well-worn, big-necked ensemble?) and oh god, voice ("gentle with dark undercurrents"--can I cut that phrase out and put it under my pillow?), evidence that the writer has actually done some research, and questions pertinent to the reason they're both there: Rendition. On the other, it's full of extraneous stuff; recycled facts from that research I just mentioned, and a completely unnecessary probing into Jake's sexuality that proves the interviewer is one of those people who...well, he's one of those people. Plus either transatlantic flight made Jake two inches taller, or this guy just guessed it wrong. Everyone does says he seems taller than they imagined.

So, Rendition.

I wish I could rave about it, say that it was unequivocally the best movie I've seen since Zodiac, but this isn't that kind of movie. I attended a Friday night showing and left the theater somewhat unsatisfied. Thinking it was probably due to all the pent up expectation, and the vaguely arctic temperature in the theater that made it hard to focus, I decided to see it again this afternoon. Besides, I really wanted another, undistracted look at Douglas Freeman. Hey, I'm nothing if not honest.

On second viewing, I did feel more involved in the story, but not as much as I thought I should have been. Maybe that's because I wanted it to be something it couldn't: a revelation. Unlike the majority of the intended audience, I have already read enough about the policy of extraordinary rendition and its purported place in the defense of national security. Rendition didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. At least this time, I did feel moved by several scenes, and my overall impression is that this is a movie that will grow on me with each additional viewing, much like Jarhead.

What I can enthusiastically endorse is Jake's performance. My bias notwithstanding, it's a Hollywood irony that while few critics seem to know what the film's motives were, the role of Douglas Freeman struck me as typical Oscar fodder. WDW was right in that this really is Jake's movie, despite its trying to be so much more. His is the character that makes the biggest connection, who reveals multiple dimensions to the audience. All the performances were excellent, but for me no one shone like Jake with his flimsy professional facade after the bombing and barely-contained self-loathing during the events that follow. More than anything else, what I walked out of that theater feeling this afternoon was an intense pride. As with most of his movies, the box office numbers will be irrelevant; Jake Gyllenhaal has proved again that he is a phenomenal actor, and he'll have work in Hollywood for as long as he wants it.

All photos: IHJ.

Don't panic

Trust me, this is no cause for alarm.

Radar Magazine has just released "The Hype Report--The expanded list: The world's most overrated people, places, and things," and yes, Jake Gyllenhaal came in at number 27.

I'd never heard of Radar, except as a technology unrelated to entertainment and popular culture. Billing itself as "fresh intelligence" on "pop, politics, scandal, style," this rag appears to be an anti-media form of media coverage (anti- as in anti-hero, not as in against) for pop culture. I'm about as out of step with pop culture as someone my age who isn't incarcerated in solitary confinement or in a coma could manage to be, so I can't say the magazine's premise holds much appeal to me, but it sounds refreshing compared to the alternatives, especially those so-called "entertainment" turds. Yes, I called them turds.

Generally, whenever I see something I consider unduly negative about Jake, my involuntary reflex is to jump to his defense, because goodness knows he needs my protection in the big bad world. That isn't necessary here, because Radar is not making any claims about Jake's talent as an actor, his intelligence, or his overall quality as a human being. They are referring strictly to the quantity and repetitiveness of media references to Jake over a given period.

Guys, Jake isn't shirtless. That's his leg--his foot's on the dash!

Here's How We Ranked 'Em

Media references from the past three months + duration, in months, of overratedness.
Divide that by "inherent appeal" on a scale of one to five.
EXAMPLE: Posh and Becks = 90000 + 96 months since marriage.
Divide that by 2 = 4848.0 = #1.

I'm not sure who determined the "inherent appeal" factor, nor is their definition available in the online article. I'd say that while Jake himself has an inherent appeal of 5 out of 5, the stories that have been most propagated about him over their sampling period had an inherent appeal to me of 1. Multiply the inanity of the two most popular rumors by the number of mindless twits who took them and reposted them all over the net, add in the number of tabloids that first invented, then ended, then rekindled, then ended again (because both parties refused to play) a relationship, and then add in the number of clueless folks who seem to want to blame one or both of the subjects of the gossip for that invention...*catches breath*...suffice it to say, if the editors of Radar lived in my world, where "entertainment" shows and gossip rags and blogs are avoided like carbohydrates, Jake would easily have been number 1.

All photos: IHJ.

Desperation grows

Not sure I can take much more of this waiting. True, I have every movie Jake's made since he was 17 on DVD to watch over and over again, not to mention all those interviews from February on the DVR. But damn, Jake, I'm missing you. Hearing that he and Reese had apparently canceled all one-on-one interviews at TIFF did not improve this situation, though I am willing to believe that it was done for good reason.

This, on the other hand, defies reason. It's one of the handful of inane hit results returned when I search these days for news of Jake's status. This is what a Jakeless summer has reduced us to. This, and Maggie in expensive S&M undies (looking sexy as hell, but not, alas, her brother), and unconfirmed stories regarding relationships of former costars (to which I refuse to link and whom are also not Jake).

Darling, please, come up for air soon, okay?

While I'm hoping to find out what the hell Jake's doing now, I find it interesting in a sociological kind of way to observe what sort of information others are seeking about him.

Lycos's search results page offers:

Narrow Your Search
Jake Gyllenhaal Wallpaper
Biography and Jake Gyllenhaal
Jake Gyllenhaal Interviews
Fan Club for Jake Gyllenhaal
Jake Gyllenhaal Married
Jake Gyllenhaal Facts
How Tall Is Jake Gyllenhaal
The Actor Jake Gyllenhaal
Does Jake Gyllenhaal Have a Girlfriend
Is Jake Gyllenhaal Gay

and behind their "More »" link...

Where Does Jake Gyllenhaal Live [stalker or newbie paparazzo? you decide]
Who Is Jake Gyllenhaal Dating [this matters why, exactly?]
Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal Related
Jake Gyllenhaal Body
Jake Gyllenhaal Filmography
Jake Gyllenhaal Backgrounds
Jake Gyllenhaal No Clothes [apparently the word "nude" escapes the typical Lycos searcher]
Is Jake Gyllenhaal Single
Jake Gyllenhaal Favorite Color [nice to know Jake still has 13-year-old fans, too]
Jake Gyllenhaal Desktop Wallpaper
Jake Gyllenhaal Wallpaper 2003
Jake Gyllenhaal Posters
How Much Does Jake Gyllenhaal Weigh [planning on carrying him away to your secret hideout, perhaps?]
Jake Gyllenhaal Buddy Icons
Jake Gyllenhaal Birthday
Kirsten Dunst Boyfriend

I really need to stay away from the web searches for a while. It's all very depressing.

All photos: IHJ.

Any minute now

One unfortunate side effect of Jake's summer vacation has been the uninterrupted propagation of the same old assorted rumors and gossip about his personal life by people who pretend their word is fact. I suppose in a way I do sympathize with them--they are just as susceptible as I am to Jake withdrawal. Perhaps they are hoping that such an unrelenting assault on that wall of official silence will finally prompt someone inside to make a statement. It wouldn't surprise me if they believed that, considering the delusional nature of some of their professed "news."

I don't need a crystal ball to confidently predict that in the next handful of days, we will suddenly have sightings and possibly photos of Jake at home in Los Angeles. With Rendition's TIFF Gala screening scheduled for September 7, Jake will be in Toronto a mere nine or ten days from now. We know how he loves to gad about the country; a rapid succession of airport appearances is all but guaranteed as he returns home, runs errands, and packs off again for the Great White North. (I just realized in writing this that Jake attended the 2005 TIFF three glorious, envy-inducing nights in a row. Where the hell was I in 2005?) I will breathe a seemingly unwarranted and preposterously overwrought sigh of relief when everyone resumes discussion of Jake's manner of dress, selection of purchases, and hairstyle of the moment...the things that matter, in other words.

I also find it gratifying that while the news outlets seem to be calling Rendition Reese Witherspoon's new movie, once again, as in the trailer, Jake has been granted top billing in the TIFF's online listing for the film. Alphabetical preference? Not exactly, as Alan Arkin came in third. Probably doesn't mean anything to anyone else, but I like it.

Thanks again to Xenia for a couple of things: first, I have implemented those shirts inspired by your comment in a new CafePress shopfront. There's nothing earth-shattering there, and certainly nothing that could be considered "art," so no markup has been applied to any item. Someone profits, but it ain't me. Second, I have really been enjoying my rediscovered Radiohead CDs! And I haven't done a lot of searching yet, but so far what I've heard of the White Stripes has me convinced that yes, I have heard them before, and of course liked what I heard. I guess I will have to start listening to the radio again, perhaps streaming while I write at night. So many things that I have missed in my self-imposed isolation!

Also, thanks to Prophecy Girl of Jake Watch for giving Zen Gyllenhaalism a mention on the blog. And thanks to everyone else who has visited, and especially commented, so far. I'd write anyway, but it wouldn't be anywhere near as much fun without you.

All photos: IHJ.

Jake and Reese in New Jersey?

We have promotion!

This morning the Courier-News Online is reporting that Rendition will be screened as part of the Filmmakers Symposium this year, somewhere between September 17 and December 4. Since these are described as previews, let's assume it will happen before October 19.

Why is this exciting? Because the Filmmakers Symposium presents not just the films, but some of the key talent behind each picture, in a question and answer session following the screening. And look for yourself if you don't believe me, but Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon, and Gavin Hood are expected to attend. The symposium's director Chuck Rose cautions: "Assessing film and guest availability is often like playing the ponies. Distributors juggle their release dates to gain competitive advantages. Sure shots can be scratched at the last minute, and wonderful surprises and fantastic celebrities can pop up out of nowhere, so I try to keep the schedule as fluid as possible."

I wonder if the audience will be vetted to prevent stupid questions from coming to the mic? You know the kind I'm talking about, what with both of them in the same room. Then again, maybe it will be a nice, awkward opportunity for some scathing Gyllenhaal humor.

If only New Jersey weren't so far away from my house. I was already planning a trip around the Rendition opening weekend. I'd adjust those plans if someone at the FS could promise me a date for the screening, but I can't afford to book it (no refunds) and then find out later that Rendition has been bumped to another night. Damn, it sucks to be poor.

As recommended by BirdGirl on the JW Forums, I've been DVRing IFC's reruns of "Indie Sex" this week, and it's a wonderful little series, including commentary from Peter Sarsgaard among others. One episode dealt with the effect on the popularity and earnings of movies released under the dreaded NC-17 rating in the US. Today Guardian Unlimited revealed that another Toronto International Film Festival presentation, Ang Lee's Lust, Caution, has just won this "death knell" rating from the MPAA.

This isn't the horrible news we might first perceive it to be. Focus Features has announced that they plan to buck the trend of recutting for a more acceptable R, and release the film as Lee intended it to be seen. I love you, Focus Features. Lee's reputation for creating beautiful, delicate but powerful masterpieces may be just what the industry needs to turn around the negative connotation of NC-17.

If nothing else, it's inspired me to fantasize about what the NC-17 version of Brokeback Mountain might have been like. Not that my imagination hasn't been there many times before....

Photos: IHJ.

There is no 'spoon

Inevitably, when a Gyllenhaalic uses Yahoo's news search to look for potential material for her nascent blog, the results page bouncily recommends that she also try the following search: Jake Gyllenhaal Reese Witherspoon (except today--it seems the Jessica Simpson fans have been doing more searches lately). This is the number one reason why I prefer to use Google's news search. But I digress.

Lately, the "news" has been pretty thin. Nowhere did they mention the most spectacular Gyllenhappening of the past week, for example. Thankfully sources like Wet Dark and Wild and Jake Watch are on the job. And thanks, Jake, for giving me this lovely reminder that I do not have to work at our annual 5K this year, since budget cuts mean there will be no 5K.

No, the only "news" I got the other day was the post by an entertainment blogger who thinks Jake is among seven stars in danger of falling off the "A-List." Someone please let this gentleman know that Jake hasn't quite made the so-called "A-List" yet, and he's got plenty of very satisfied fans who would love nothing more than to see him keep choosing roles based on what they say to him, and what he can do with them, rather than their potential for box office. There are enough of those fools already. Jake makes movies I actually enjoy (well, there was Highway...). If he took the advice of people like this guy, he'd be doing a series of soulless blockbusters until eventually he became just another greedy actor.

Next, this.


Yes, I included it in my last post. But I'm not done enjoying it yet. And apparently I'm not the only one whose eye was caught by this, amongst the dozens of other new pictures posted alongside it over at IHJ. It was taken at the New York City premiere of Jarhead. I cannot overstate how grateful I am to Ally and Stephanie at IHJ for keeping the Jake pics coming. Without them and their secret, powerful media connections, desperate addicts like myself would not be treated to pictures from events two years in the past just at the moment when a Jake-drought is threatening to desiccate my joie de vivre and permit reality to spoil my days.

Finally, for now, I want to take a moment to say hello to my reader in Seoul, Korea. You have no idea what your faithful viewing of my blog means to me. My friends are here because they know me from other places. They felt compelled, in other words. (Now they're going to bash me for saying that.) You, on the other hand, are a complete stranger, and yet you appear to be reading my posts just about every day. It occurred to me that you might just be some kind of hiccup in a poorly-configured network, but I'm trying to be less cynical these days, so I am embracing you as a human viewer. Thank you for providing an audience.

Photos: IHJ.

Rendition trailer!

Better late than never.

So, yesterday while I was at work, innocently doing actual work for the first time in about a week, the rest of the world was ooh-ing and aah-ing over the full Rendition trailer, which must have magically appeared as I slept. Bastards. I would have posted these captures and the trailer much sooner, but I sort of couldn't stop myself watching it over and over...and over....

This is going to be one intense role for Jake, from all appearances. Jake has died in a few films, but to see him almost getting blown up in that last bit was strangely exciting to me. Go figure. It looks like Douglas Freeman is a rather locked-down, caged-animal kind of guy. Not just that...Jake looks somehow bigger here; he has a large physical presence, more intimidating than his Jarhead bulk, in my opinion. He's powerful and mesmerizing, and that's with a grand total of about 10 seconds' worth of action. I could not anticipate this release with any more excitement unless Jake were coming over to escort me to a premiere himself. Or maybe to bring me back to a private screening at his home. Ahh, dreams.

I included that last cap because it just makes me all giddy. No less than three Academy Award winners are credited here, but Jake is billed first, at least in the trailer. That's gotta be a good sign, right? I tried to access the movie's advertised home page again, but it still isn't in place as of this morning. Oh well.

My one fear about this film right now is that it will in some way try to justify the process of extraordinary rendition by portraying it as having a desirable outcome. While there is no reason to suspect this, I know that it would be a very effective form of audience manipulation, and in fact to avoid being considered yet another liberal attack on foreign policy, it would be essential. I don't consider myself liberal nor conservative; my interest is justice and human rights, and I wish the leaders of my country were more interested in representing me than themselves.

All captures by me.

Another workout revelation

How do they get these photos? IHJ has just posted a new set of shots which appear to be from The Guardian Weekend article promoting Zodiac's UK release. Okay, so they aren't new new, but damn, there are a lot more than we've already seen.

This is, I believe, the look of Douglas Freeman, whom we will meet in Rendition. As if I weren't already excited enough about that upcoming release. I also suspect someone else has dressed him for this shoot, as I didn't realize it before, but Jake is missing the trademark white undershirt.

On a related (not really, but it is if I say it is) note, Jake's Rendition co-star, Reese Witherspoon, was just announced yesterday to be Avon's first ever Global Ambassador. Chalk up another learning experience for me--I had no idea of the existence of the Avon Foundation, but apparently I'm the only one. All I know is, there I was at the gym, once again looking up momentarily from my book during a rest between sets, and I saw Reese in some kind of press conference, followed by a blurb about a first look at her new movie Rendition tomorrow night. Which would now be tonight. For those who are desperate enough to sit through one of these so-called entertainment shows to possibly get a peek at some clips, it was either Entertainment Tonight or Insider (because sometimes they talk on ET about stuff they want you to watch on Insider, and I couldn't hear a word that was said, and I was too excited to read the captioning). I tried to verify this info for you, but according to TV Guide, neither show has anything about Reese, Rendition, or Jake. So don't blame me if you sit down with a bowl of popcorn and end up watching 30 minutes of crap. We're all taking a chance here. But I think it's worth it.


All photos: IHJ.