Don't panic

Jake is inexplicably sexy just crossing a parking lotTrust me, this is no cause for alarm.

Radar Magazine has just released "The Hype Report--The expanded list: The world's most overrated people, places, and things," and yes, Jake Gyllenhaal came in at number 27.

I'd never heard of Radar, except as a technology unrelated to entertainment and popular culture. Billing itself as "fresh intelligence" on "pop, politics, scandal, style," this rag appears to be an anti-media form of media coverage (anti- as in anti-hero, not as in against) for pop culture. I'm about as out of step with pop culture as someone my age who isn't incarcerated in solitary confinement or in a coma could manage to be, so I can't say the magazine's premise holds much appeal to me, but it sounds refreshing compared to the alternatives, especially those so-called "entertainment" turds. Yes, I called them turds.

Generally, whenever I see something I consider unduly negative about Jake, my involuntary reflex is to jump to his defense, because goodness knows he needs my protection in the big bad world. That isn't necessary here, because Radar is not making any claims about Jake's talent as an actor, his intelligence, or his overall quality as a human being. They are referring strictly to the quantity and repetitiveness of media references to Jake over a given period.Reese and Jake: two people in a car != romanceGuys, Jake isn't shirtless. That's his leg--his foot's on the dash!
Here's How We Ranked 'Em

Media references from the past three months + duration, in months, of overratedness.
Divide that by "inherent appeal" on a scale of one to five.
EXAMPLE: Posh and Becks = 90000 + 96 months since marriage.
Divide that by 2 = 4848.0 = #1.

Jake and Reese exhibit absolute class at TIFFI'm not sure who determined the "inherent appeal" factor, nor is their definition available in the online article. I'd say that while Jake himself has an inherent appeal of 5 out of 5, the stories that have been most propagated about him over their sampling period had an inherent appeal to me of 1. Multiply the inanity of the two most popular rumors by the number of mindless twits who took them and reposted them all over the net, add in the number of tabloids that first invented, then ended, then rekindled, then ended again (because both parties refused to play) a relationship, and then add in the number of clueless folks who seem to want to blame one or both of the subjects of the gossip for that invention...*catches breath*...suffice it to say, if the editors of Radar lived in my world, where "entertainment" shows and gossip rags and blogs are avoided like carbohydrates, Jake would easily have been number 1.

All photos: IHJ.


BirdGirl said...

Yeah that's pretty stupid. They just write this shit to get people like us worked up. Like I said on JW "What the fuck is Radar magazine anyway!" Clearly people who think Pandas are overrated are unholy. I won't even let the fact that Jake is number 27 on that list upset me. My reaction to all the haters is always the same...

Hey jealousy!

Xenia said...

Funny, because I always thought that JAKE was UNDER-rated and GOSSIP was so so much OVER-rated...;)

And yes, that mysterious 'inherent appeal' factor is slightly gratuitous to say the least.

See Radar People? I should not dislike too much who gave you some moments of glory and some more readers...
Because I think they know (or at least they know by now) that if you insert Jake in a list whatsoever it will all around the internet in a heartbeat. ;)

Cherita said...

BirdGirl, you just made me want to dig out my old Gin Blossoms tape. :D One of these days I'll get everything digitized, I swear it...

Clearly people who think Pandas are overrated are unholy.

LOL! I don't think any animal can be overrated, except Homo sapiens.

Because I think they know (or at least they know by now) that if you insert Jake in a list whatsoever it will all around the internet in a heartbeat.

You said it, Xenia. They've seen the phenomenon in action, they know exactly what they're doing. A few of the incoming visitors to my blog yesterday were apparently led here by a search on "radar overrated." You just know it wasn't fans of jeans or cupcakes doing the searching. Come to think of it, though, Gyllenhaalics are definitely indirect fans of jeans and cupcakes (and Pinkberry, and the Dalai Lama, and pandas). Hmm, post idea forming.