Somewhere in an alternate Gyllenverse, part II

[SCENE: A car's interior, nighttime. It's a modest-looking vehicle which may or may not be a hybrid. The interior is a medium gray, upholstered in leather. Stretched haphazardly across the back seat is a dark gray fleece blanket. Our impossibly gorgeous young actor is behind the wheel, looking a bit frazzled but still beautiful in a cheap lightweight black jacket, tan t-shirt, a brushed-fleece scarf that almost matches the backseat blanket, and jeans. His cell phone, tossed into the passenger seat among other debris, begins to buzz its way across the seat as it vibrates with a call.]

J: Shit. [glancing over, grabs phone, answers] Yeah?

Anonymous Party Host: [on other end of phone line] Hey, that was intense. Are you okay?

J: [sighs] Yeah, I'm fine.

APH: We saw it from the window. I had to stop Bob from running to your rescue. You sure you're okay? They were right on top of you.

J: I'm fine, really. A little flash-blind, but that's fading.

APH: I'm sorry. You should have let us use the hose.

J: As satisfying as that might have been, it wouldn't have stopped them. [stops at a traffic light, looks around] I told you I was followed. You thought I was being paranoid.

APH: [irritably] I did not say 'paranoid.'

J: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not paranoid, I'm 'nuts.' [light changes, drives on] That one guy almost lost a foot, I swear.

APH: I thought going out the back door would work. You really, really should have let us run them off first. Seriously.

J: I'm a big boy, I can handle a few photographers. But I told you they were there.

APH: [apologetically] I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone knew you were coming.

J: [signaling and then turning] They didn't. They were outside my house. They're always outside my house. They followed me. I told you, I was followed.

APH: Okay, okay. And you were right. [playfully, after a beat] So I guess this means you won't be coming to my next party?

J: [laughing] No, I'm never coming to your house again. Your parties suck, I had no fun, I left alone. In fact, delete my number from your phone.

APH: Hey, it's not my fault you left alone. That was your move, bud.

J: Yeah, well, with those guys staked out in your bushes, she'd have been instantly famous.

APH: Oh, come on. You can't claim that excuse. [teasing] You're just picky.

J: That's me, mister discriminating.

APH: Who are you supposed to be fucking these days, anyway? I've lost track.

J: So have I. Last I heard, I was seriously overrated, though. [giggling]

APH: [laughing] Someone should tell that to the guys who were in my bushes.

J: [laughing] I did. They wouldn't listen.

APH: [laughing]

J: [stopping at another light] You know, I should find out who I'm dating. I could really go for some sex right now.

APH: [laughs] You're terrible.

J: What's terrible is that my tabloid self is fucking an assortment of attractive people of either gender, and I haven't had sex in two years. [in mock despair] I'm lonely!

APH: You're so full of shit.

J: I'm full of ...something. [starts driving again]

APH: I'm hanging up now.

J: [melodramatic] But I'm so lonely!

APH: [laughing] Goodnight, Jake.

J: 'Night.

[J hangs up call, tosses phone back on seat, and drives on, smiling]

Inspiration here.


BirdGirl said...

He he! I thought maybe you would go with you in the back seat under the blanket.

It's too bad our boy isn't having sex. I guess he's saving himself for me. :)

sass said...

Fun read! I wonder if the paps are becoming more than a nusisance, though he does not have, the crazy follow you, your family and your friends, everywhere life of the Jolie-Pitt clan.
I can't sleep tonight, which is why this inane comment.

Xenia said...

Funny and plausible setting Cherita...I have to say that Jake seems a bit dazed in this pics, or maybe he is simply unprepared at someone pointing his flashes directly to his orbs...:/

And I have the feeling that he's really picky when it comes to his job and sex...so he's not fucking around as the gossipers want us to believe AT ALL IMO.

Cherita, could you make up this lack of sex in Jake's life if you'll obtain that dog-sitting job, please? :D

Cherita said...

I know more than one person has suggested that there was someone under the blanket, BirdGirl, but alas, it wasn't me.

Welcome back, Sass! Thanks for the compliment. Though further information seems to indicate that those photos weren't even snapped at a private residence, but possibly a restaurant, and possibly with Peter in attendance. Who the hell knows?

Cherita, could you make up this lack of sex in Jake's life if you'll obtain that dog-sitting job, please?

Well, as if that didn't go without saying, it would definitely fall under the other personal services as needed heading.

Really, I too am sick of the assumption that because he's young, beautiful and single, he must be having lots of sex. He doesn't seem the random hookup type, so I went with that. Glad everyone liked it. :D

BirdGirl said...

Oh I'm sure he has lots of sex. He looks like he has lots of sex. What ever that means. You know what I mean! Maybe I just think about sex when I look at him. :)

BirdGirl said...

I didn't mean he has sex with random people. I ment that I think that he is a very sexual person. Here I go again...

I need to think before I type. You know what I mean. He's way too classy of a guy to be slutty. :)