Resume attached

Jake in another Interview tease that has nothing to do with this postI have a proposition for Jake Gyllenhaal.

No, not that one. Though of course it still stands.

You see, it looks as though, predictably enough, the new film Brothers, which will probably star Jake along with Tobey Maguire, is going to be filmed on location. In other words, somewhere other than Los Angeles. The Boston Herald is reporting that David Benioff, the screenwriter for the American version of Brothers, said the producers are currently debating between locations in Boston, Massachusetts, and somewhere in New Mexico.

"I was just talking about where we’re going to shoot the movie and Massachusetts is one of the possibilties," he said. "The other possible place is New Mexico. But everyone would rather come to Boston than New Mexico. Sorry, New Mexico."
Jake and Atticus together back in AprilYeah, sorry, New Mexico. You already had more than your fair share of Jake when he shot Brokeback Mountain and Jarhead. Apart from the occasional random Red Sox game, Jake hasn't been in Massachusetts since he spent the entire freakin' summer there this year.

Sorry, where was I going with this? Oh, right.

Has anyone seen Jake out with Atticus lately? I suppose it's possible that Jake had him along on the Vineyard, but somehow I doubt it. There's at least one place in Los Angeles that claims Atticus as a client (I just wasted about an hour searching for the very recent reference, and only found this one from 2006) for doggy day care or boarding. The point I'm getting at is, every time Jake runs off to shoot a movie, or promote one, or (heaven forbid!) takes a vacation, poor Atticus gets the shaft. He ought to be pampered in his own home, damn it. He needs play dates with other pooches, and some time at the dog park, too, but that can be arranged.

Poor Atticus hasn't been to a dog park with Jake since MayAtticus needs a live-in dog nanny, and I am officially offering myself for consideration. The position is ideal for me, as I have extensive house-plus-dog-sitting experience, and am looking to relocate to the Los Angeles area next year anyway. It would take care of my housing and employment in one fell swoop. I probably wouldn't ever see Jake, since he's never home, but if I did, that would be a fringe benefit beyond any lame health insurance and 401k.

Jake looks like he needs that coffee, and laundry serviceI'm a longtime animal lover, immediately accepted by every companion animal I've ever encountered and favored by a few whose affection toward me even baffled their adoptive people. My salary requirements are minimal, as I won't have a rent bill to cover, and in addition to animal care I can provide other personal services as needed. I'm excellent at rebuffing telemarketers and other nuisance callers, and have no objection to brewing coffee or touching Jake's dirty underwear doing laundry when Jake is home. I am willing to be bonded. Or bound. Whatever.

Jake, if you read this, give me a call. I know Atticus will thank you for it.

All photos: IHJ.


BirdGirl said...

That sounds good but only if I could be your assistant. I could bring my dog Cleo and they could romp around together. :)

Franking, I would take any Jake related job offered to me. Shit we could move Xenia here from Italy and he would be the best cared for man in the USA. We would never let him leave to work. And he wouldn't be able to walk. But he would be happy. Oh yeah and so would Atticus. :)

Cherita said...

I'm not sure I'd do any job. For example, I might decline to wash his windows or clean his bathroom. Maybe. But I would definitely refuse to landscape his yard. I have to draw the line somewhere.